Releasing some NRE (and looking for your thoughts)
Tomorrow I'm going off on my first weekend away with Shiny New BF and I can barely contain my excitement. Which is exactly the problem. My husband and BF's primary partner (my dear friend) know we're excited, but we're trying to keep the squeals and squees to a minimum around them, out of respect. We're also still keeping this on the down-low among our friends while we figure things out logistically, concentrating on our group dynamic before we bring everybody into the picture, so I am BURSTING with energy that I can't really share with anyone. (Friends know we're spending the weekend together as friends, but they have no idea we're exploring a formal relationship.)
This is a huge change for me. While we're still planning on taking babysteps through this, momentum is a factor and the fact is I haven't really been intimate with someone else (nor have I wanted to be) in the seven years my husband and I have been together. I feel completely comfortable with BF, especially since I know everything's out in the open, but I can't shake the feeling that I have to seize the moment, that this might be my only chance to be close to him.
It's rooted in this fear that I'm going to come home and my husband is going to say that he can't handle it. I have this horrible vision of him kissing me when I come home on Sunday and saying he can't stop picturing me kissing BF, that something has changed or whatever. I think it's all part of the "too good to be true" aspect of all this, that both he and BF's girlfriend have been nothing but completely supportive of us hooking up from the moment we brought up our Feelings. This is all just falling into place too damn smoothly.
I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for when I know what I need to do is just breathe, relax, and enjoy this time. Can anybody relate to what I'm feeling and offer words of wisdom? I feel like once we get home and everything's cool I'll be able to accept that it's cool and move on from the "too good to be true" thing. I hope, anyway.
And, lastly, OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I'M SO EXCITED OMG!!!! :: breathes ::