Kevin, you aren't prying at all. Talking helps. Those things affect me deeply, as well, and so I know exactly what you mean. It is wonderful, in some ways, that you can still enjoy the songs in her spirit, but I know how heart-wrenching it is, too. It is the same for me. He and I both are fairly musical, and had many songs that were "ours." On one hand, I just keep wanting to listen to them over, and over, and over, and...well, you get the idea. It somehow makes him feel closer to me, makes me remember the times we had together with those songs, and all that went into them, and that is comforting. On the other hand, it hurts like hell that he isn't there.
The thing I miss the most is the way he held me at night. I know that sounds trite, but it was totally new for me. I don't snuggle in bed, it generally drives me nuts. In my whole life, I've not snuggled at night when I am asleep. Until him. Something about him just made me want him close, it just...fit, if that makes any sense? I've never slept so well, so soundly, so comfortably as in his arms, and waking up to him holding me was amazing.
And, the things way we did things together. He has a wonderful wit, and we were both very exuberant together. We're both in great shape, and he was one of the only people who has ever been able to keep up with me in all my many activities (including in the bedroom), and enthusiastically made them his, too. I've never laughed so much as I did with him, no matter what we were doing, and never felt as equal and well-matched as I did with him. Given some of my hobbies, this is a hard thing to come by. So, I am not without that partner in hobbies, and doing them alone has become bittersweet.
I miss him.
Originally Posted by kdt26417
You know one thing that surprised me, at how deeply it affected me (in a bittersweet way) was hearing again and remembering some of my wife's favorite songs. I alone remain to try to appreciate them in the spirit she would have. Have you had any such musical stings in your heart lately, GreenAcres? What do you miss the most about this man you've lost, or what affects you the most poignantly about him?
Hope I'm not prying.