Originally Posted by polytriad
all in all thank you for the tough love. I just don't know if I can deal especially if I don't understand why they are going down the path of a V when we agreed to be working on a triad.
Agreeing to be a triad does not a triad make. It sounds to me like you're trying to slam a square relationship peg into a round emotional hole. Setting out a goal for a particular structure without *really* knowing if it's the right arrangement usually ends in heartbreak.
It's that same thing about prescriptive relationships. Emotions rarely follow directions.
And honestly, from what I've seen here, it never really seemed like your wife was fully on board with this. It sounds like part of the purpose of prescribing the triad structure is so that she can feel less insecure about you having another lover, because she is fully involved every step of the way and have some measure of control over your love for this other woman. And it seems she's still attempting to exercise this control.
Honestly, I can't see that ending well.
I wrote quite a few thoughts down about that on this