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Old 03-10-2010, 05:07 AM
snarz snarz is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 5
Default advice and reassurance needed :(

hey
I'm 20 and just got into a polymorous relationship with my bf and his partner...
They have been together since they were 15, and are engaged, there was talk of me joining the relationship during janurary but she (despite always saying she wanted a poly relationship) freaked out and tried to stop him seeing me at all....many tears were involved, mostly mine and much shouting was done from her part....
But by this point i was already in too deep to back down, i was in love with him and desperately wanted him... anyways, we embarked on an affair, until i told him i couldnt handle the lies and told him he needed to choose....
Well on sunday he spoke to her, and told her it was very important to him that he could be with me. He made it clear he still wanted her but if she didnt want a poly relationship with him and i that she was welcome to leave, but he was sticking with me regardless. obviously he told her that nothing had happened b4. many would class that as victory to Sarah, but i feel confused. I feel guilty for causing trouble within their relationship (although as his best friend prior to this i knew they were unhappy anyway) I feel jealous of her, i feel scared that there well established relationship will just cause mine and his new, and therefore more fragile relationship to crumble.... I know that he wishes for her and i to get together as it were at a later date as well, but i think she probably hates me too much for that. and i have so many concerns about poly lifestyles, i mean how do i tell my parents, ive already come out (as bi) once and that was enough.... how do i tell our friends? im worried im always gonna be less important than her...
i just have so many concerns, but i feel like its worth it for him, cos i love him. hes my best friend, hes my rock, i need him i rely on him. without him id just crumble. and a big part of me just wants her to leave. but i really want to make this work.

can anyone offer me any advice on getting over the jealousy and anxeity (my GAD doesnt help with that....) i feel at the moment?

Sarah x
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