I second Pulliman.
It was hell for some time.
As I said, my blog and previous threads go into much more detail.
For us-it was so worth it. Where we are today is just so much better than we EVER were in our whole marriage.
But it is a tough road.
The person who had the affair needs to take time to rebuild trust without question. If you need attention-she needs to give it.
But only you know if the effort is worth it to you.
"Love As Thou Wilt"