Originally Posted by redsirenn
...I talked to him about it. Mentioned that I feel is is rooted in wanting this to be something special, that the way I was so used to romantic relationships being special was with sexual exclusivity. The thing is that I have had PLENTY of exclusive relationships that were NOT special. The sex had little to no role in that.
Special is feeling like I am cared for, feeling like there is something about me that sets me apart from all the other girls he would be with. I know there is... I am awesome. It is just hard to not get overwhelmed by all those negative thoughts. ...
This is exactly what I have been trying to come to terms with. So far, about the only answer I can find is that, with time I eventually see that he does see me as special. I can think I am awesome, but that doesn't mean that he will value me the way I feel I should be valued, you know? That opens me up to being hurt. But over time I'm getting to see that he does value me, and also examining my feelings for him and realizing that I think he's special even without sexual exclusivity--if I can feel that way, so can he, right?
Anyway, thanks for sharing--I've been struggling with this issue for some time, and it's nice to see how someone else is dealing with it.