The late thing is not a "rule" thing. It was a matter of when he said he would be home. In this case, I don't think what someone say is a rule, just the what they are going to do.
The best way to explain this is... if he had just been out with his friends, I would have called and been annoyed. I don't want to call when on a date, especially a new girl. I think that sets up wrong impressions of... well both of us to his new girl. And honestly, if they had been together for a longer period of time, I probably would have just called.
I guess the irritating point on that is that I felt that the initial actions was completely disrespectful, followed by a dumb statement (and I don't think he actually believed it, I think that was just what came out of his mouth when I said something thought about when he said it - their date was set around her schedule and she had to be somewhere, and I think she blew it off).
I felt like my hands were tied in what I would have normally done. Compounding the issue.
And it is not this particular issue only, it is just the... if you say you are going to do something - do it. So it isn't specifically that he was late, it was that he told me one thing and didn't do it. I think the part that relates to the actual relationship that is getting to me is that I don't want stupid stuff like this to be the norm. I could lower my expectation, but that is hard when these little things seem to be an issue of respect. BTW - none of these things were things I asked him, they were things that he said.