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Old 10-13-2013, 07:41 AM
SilverKate SilverKate is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2
Default Beware puppy love and boundaries and I am so bad at these.

I second what the person said about new love. When puppy love starts it can be from mild yeah to obsessive. I tend to be the latter. I am head over and want to be with the person 24/7 and if on a date loose track of time.

I have set alarms, had friends call me at a certain point and just said the date will end at x. However when you are with a person (new or not) and enjoying their company time gets away from you.

Now having said that I have a live in partner who knows my ways. When we look for a new partner he goes and buys new video games he wants and stashes them for my date nights. This works for us.

When he dates I just go online, read, hang with other friends. If I am not on the date I relish in my ME time. We love each other however I am not loved less if he is out with a friend (or girlfriend).

WE both do have a time out button. If things are getting to intense (for anyone) or the new partner starts throwing out "keywords to trouble", or we wind up with someone who is "attached and now needs rescuing" (financial or emotional) or we have not spent any time together in a few days (we never let it get over a week. ) Then that is the time to say. Step back, reflect and see where this goes.

We also will not date others who are not into Poly. Period.

Kate

Ps this is also where OUR boundaries are enforced upfront is in the puppy love time.

You guys will figure it out. Trust me I have a 20 year and a 10 year co relationship that worked but not without alot of work. Being a widow now for 2 years of one of my guys and now redating we had to start the finding us and our boundaries again. And our 2nd go at it tanked spectacularly... Flames everywhere. We took a little off and are now dating others again. Now with lessons learned.
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