Originally Posted by Dagferi
WH.. Some of its are just wired to be this way.
Before Butch I bounced from relationship to relationship because there was always this itch. But being raised with the you can't have two serious partners model I would end my relationships when my eyes began to wander. Never dated a man beyond 2 years other than Butch. There were many I was still in love with but exited the relationship because my eye was wandering.
With Butch I fought it 7 years. Upon talking he pointed out I was polyamorus. While I did not go looking actively I was open to finding someone. Never liked actively pursuing dating when I was single. I have always played the if it is meant to be it will find me game. I just lived my life.
The only thing I changed was I allowed myself a social life sans Butch. I dated here and there before Murf.
This is the difference I'm talking about. Eyes wander, falling in love, developing crushes, 'fighting it' and finally deciding to allow it to happen the next time it happens, living life and if it happens it happens....is all different from a conscious decision to go look actively seek a girlfriend/boyfriend for the sake of having one.
OP didn't give any background on why
they decided to open their marriage. Did one or both of them have the same experience as you? Did they just decide it would be fun to have that NRE feeling again that often gets lost as marriages settle into long term?