WH.. Some of its are just wired to be this way.
Before Butch I bounced from relationship to relationship because there was always this itch. But being raised with the you can't have two serious partners model I would end my relationships when my eyes began to wander. Never dated a man beyond 2 years other than Butch. There were many I was still in love with but exited the relationship because my eye was wandering.
With Butch I fought it 7 years. Upon talking he pointed out I was polyamorus. While I did not go looking actively I was open to finding someone. Never liked actively pursuing dating when I was single. I have always played the if it is meant to be it will find me game. I just lived my life.
The only thing I changed was I allowed myself a social life sans Butch. I dated here and there before Murf.
OP... If you are looking to divorce or separate from your wife just to score a piece of trail. Karma is going to smack you down hard. Live your life honestly.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.