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Old 03-08-2010, 11:06 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by ak2381 View Post
........ When he got through the door I welcomed him with open arms and we talked until we both fell asleep. He told me everything that happened, without going into obvious detail that just would have added salt to the wound.
That's awesome AK ! It really does seem like you are BOTH trying hard here. Of course it's painful. Change always is. But if you can do it together, support each other as much as possible - that's the 'ideal' in practice

Originally Posted by ak2381 View Post
She loves him. She let me know that..........
....She makes sure he is happy and healthy. As glad as I am for that, I hate that she loves him. But I would rather he be with someone like that than a one night fling that could hurt him or us.
Keep talking ! (with her) She seems like she's sailed this ocean and can undoubtedly feel where you are at. Let her show YOU her love too !

And really - think about it ? How can we "hate" that anyone is loved ??? Isn't love what we would wish for every living thing ? (I know you didn't mean that quite so literally but connect to the Freudian slip).

Every situation and person is different. I don't know you or your hubby. I see some are considering that he's pushing you too hard - too fast. That you need to assert yourself more.
I can't speak to that because you two know each other on a far deeper level than any of us internet ghosts.
Some people need a little "push" to get over certain fences and I only hope this is just one of those cases. From your writing it 'appears' he's doing everything possible to be kind & considerate short of giving up his own needs/desires entirely. And we all know what THAT would lead to eventually.

Hang in there. {{{hugs}}}

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