Originally Posted by bookbug
Now, the bottom line is I know D does not fit your fantasy of watching some hot dude, bang your wife. Separate that out of the equation too. Them remember, you aren't having sex with him; your wife is. And in this situation, the only important thing is that she does see something in him. You don't have to.
This is the core issue, well said bookbug.
It's healthy to have fantasies and sometimes we are fortunate enough to have them come to fruition. Many times fantasies just stay fantasies and (depending on how important they are to us) we can continue to keep an eye out for the ability to bring them to life. In this particular instance this guy doesn't fit the bill for your particular fantasy... no biggie.
What I'm gathering though is that you had the expectation of your wife only dating men who will satisfy this fantasy for you. Is that correct? Since you like this fellow and have no personal issue with him I can only surmise that this is what you are "struggling" with. If this is the case, I would suggest you take bookbugs advice to heart and separate your own desires from your wifes desires. If at some point in the future they intersect perfectly then have a party, but it is unreasonable to expect that your wife should go "hot dude" shopping just because that's what you want.