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Old 10-11-2013, 08:50 AM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635

London, to clarify: you avoid friendships with metamours? I don't like to be expected to hang out with metamours, but I personally would prefer to be friendly if not friends with mine. I think it makes communication easier (I'm a fan of talking out problems with the polycule when necessary). To each their own, though. I'm constantly intrigued at how different folks handle this stuff.
I handle any communication necessary with my partner(s). I see no need to negotiate or communicate with a metamour. If I had a metamour that I ended up meeting and we got on, cool, but I'd always keep a "professional distance" so as to avoid sticky situations.

So my point is, if you and your partner(s) do a lot of dating outside your social circle, or you have different social circles, then avoiding/not getting to know metamours is definitely an option. When they're pretty much everywhere you go, it's difficult, and probably not very healthy to avoid them. These are probably the circumstances where break-ups become most awkward regarding post-breakup friendships. In my opinion anyway.
It would be different if my metamour was someone who was already my good friend, but hanging in the same social group wouldn't mean that I become bff's with them. I'd be civil and pleasant to them, and after they broke up, I'd be the same. Professional distance.
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