View Single Post
  #18  
Old 03-07-2010, 06:25 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,505
Default

Well as you all know-I had surgery (ACDF) on my neck December 31st.
It went well. I had some issues for a few weeks afterward with intense sensations of choking, but as the inflammation has decreased that sensation has decreased significantly as well.
Still impacting my singing ability. Not my ability to hit the notes but I have no follow through anymore-so there is no holding a note for a significant span of time. I've been doing my voice workouts from when I was in school, that seems to be helping.

The pain in my neck and arms is GONE. That has been AMAZING.

March 23rd I have a second surgery. The insurance has approved and agreed that a breast reduction is medically necessary. I have a second disk in my neck that is already bulging, they don't want it to herniate as well.

So they are going to do a reduction from an F cup down to a B cup. I can't even imagine. I haven't been a B cup since 2nd grade, seriously...

I have lost all the excess weight I was fighting to lose. I'm now down to 153-155 (depends on the time of the month). My goal was originally 150 lbs, after the reduction, I should be there.

I'm excited in some ways. I'll be able to run again without the pain. I'll be able to wear things I've only ever dreamed of wearing....
But at the same time..... I'm scared to death.

I have NO fears that Maca or GG will have ANY issue by the scars, the size reduction. They both love me, not even a smidge of doubt in my mind on that. I can't even IMAGINE either of them losing any of their.... attraction to me over that.

But who will I be?

For so many years of my life I've been "God you have big tits...." girl.
I don't know how one would explain that to someone who hasn't had that experience, but I've spent so many years not being looked in the face, because people are so damn shocked by the size of my breasts, that I feel like I'm going to be so different, maybe I won't recognize myself?

Anyone else experience something like this??

I'm not freaking out... just, nervous.

The other thing is-man that whole tube down the throat during surgery thing IS freaking me out due to the whole choking feeling after the last surgery...

Any thoughts are welcomed..
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote