Originally Posted by polyman
Vicarious, I am myself still new to world of polyamory so I don't think I can have any advice for you but I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story cause its kinda similar to mine. I too get aroused by the thought of my wife being a slut and I frequently masturbate imagining her doing it with other men. I thought that I might be alone in that but I'm glad to see that there is other men out there who share this, kink. My problem in this however is that the man my wife has chosen currently to be with is someone I find very repulsive physically so thinking of them together has quite the opposite of arousal feeling for me. More on this in another thread that is awaiting moderator approval.
I also share this "Can't really have arousal when it comes to other women" thing. I'd rather she take other partners and would really love for her to have partners that share this kink of mine and would want to share her in bed at the same time.
It is funny that over the last couple of years, while we have had a VERY limited sex life together, I spent much of my time getting off on 'Hotwife' types of sites. This poly path we are on now, is a slow realization that I have always had some wiring for this (mild) kink. Making it real, versus theoretical is the challenge I am working on. It was a great relief to know that M also shares this similar kink with me being with another woman. It helps us come back to us as a couple and sexually getting off on each other's outside fun.
One thing I am excited about is that I have some counseling coming up to start to work on some of my hangups. I'm able to accept we are on a new road, and I am enjoying self-analysis and learning about myself.
That sucks about the other guy...M has a small crush on the local male librarian, that to me is a bit geeky, but that would be a better start for me than the a really hot guy...at least to build on my self confidence. haha