Hi everybody - I sure could use a little advice from... well... almost anybody at this point. I *think* I'm in a poly-V relationship: K. and I have had an intimate relationship for two years; her husband T. and I are good buddies and, because of a little hiccup with my life last year (don't ask!) I now even live with them. Frankly, we've been going along great and never dreamed that anybody else lived like we do - we only recently discovered the word "polyamory" - amazing but true! Hell, we've even been looking at houses to buy together!
T. and K. had discussed having an open marriage before K. (a work friend of mine) ever broached the idea with me. She is wonderful and beautiful and honest and we both love her to pieces. She has multiple sclerosis (MS) but still gets thru her day with courage and a smile... for now.
A couple of months ago she met somebody on Facebook and it rapidly progressed to a frisky, lusty, free-wheeling on-line "affair". S. (the guy she met online) isn't just some whack job outta nowhere - K. and S. grew up in the same town and, while they didn't know each other in school, they have a zillion points-of-contact in common. S. is married, but things with his wife of 20+ years have cooled to the point where he asked to be 'let off the leash' to meet and romp with K. K. asked T. if this was OK, it was by him. When she asked me my head damn near exploded! Jealousy, betrayal, fear - the unholy triumvirate of negative emotions. It was awful for me, and my reaction made her feel terrible.
She had been spending lots of time on the computer talking to S.; T. and I had both been feeling neglected, but T. is her husband and she will always come home to him. I worry that she's gotten bored with me and is looking for the thrill of something new. She was so taken aback by my reaction that she agreed to call off the liaison with S., but they remain online friends. S. is working on things with his wife, which is good, but I know K. would still love to romp with him.
What do I do? I want her to have whatever she wants, especially because with MS the clock is ticking a bit faster for her than for the rest of us - you get just so many springs and summers in this life. I might be able to get my head around the whole idea of her with S., but I'm scared senseless. I'd be willing to try to get to know S. in hopes of working thru my own fears, but what I really want is to keep K. all for just T. and me. Help!
Last edited by HowDidIGetHere; 03-06-2010 at 01:32 PM.