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Old 10-10-2013, 12:36 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,555

Originally Posted by Lottie View Post

Magdlyn, that description sounds incredibly depressing but yes she has absolute agency to do what she wants and date whoever she feels. That is the point of polyamory right?
You might think so, but no. Read around the boards and you will find many poly people who are poly fidelitous, or poly-fi. That is, 3 or 4 people who have all made an agreement (sometimes under duress, sometimes happily) to only be with their closed group. Heck, we even have people here who ID as poly, but are living monogamously for an extended period of time.

She lives close, has her own transport, we all live in different houses. We're not out yet but that is because it is still very new, but we are lucky to live in a commmunity where some friends are poly and no one bats an eye, though I think we are the first potential THROUPLE. She already comes out with us and has made mutual friends so there isn't any of that unhealthy type behaviour that was mentioned.
Glad you have all have open minded friends! If you stay together for more than a few months, will blood family visits and opinions come into play?

How about at work? I am bi and poly but don't let my employers know... which is kind of tricky. Even with certain friends, when I am out with my gf, I often have to edit myself when I want to mention my bf. Some of them are not aware we are poly, or wouldn't get it.

I know you are brand new to all of this and who knows, you might break up with one or both of your new partners sooner rather than later, but I've been with my gf almost 5 years, my bf almost 2, and others have been doing it much longer than me. We aren't a triad, tho my gf and bf have had some sexual contact. We are a V, which is a much much more common and easier arrangement. My 2 partners happen to get along great, but it's never gone over into a 3 way equal loving/dating thing.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
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