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Old 10-10-2013, 02:49 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I am what I call "blissfully child-free by choice," and have been ever since I first became sexually active almost 40 years ago. Now that I have entered menopause and am no longer fertile, there is no chance of bearing children - and I have never regretted my choice to be child-free. I am great with kids and have babysat many, for friends or for money. Kids love me, but I always knew that I could not handle the enormous responsibility of being in charge of another human being's emotional, physical, and psychological health and development full-time - I could barely manage my own!

One thing I know for sure, it is not a decision that anyone should make to please someone else. Sure, there was a period in my marriage where I thought about it wistfully, but that was a romantic notion. Thank goodness that wishful thinking didn't last more than a couple of months (I was heavily into my genealogical research and feeling like it would be nice to pass on my work to descendants - not a good reason to have children). Fortunately, my husband had had a vasectomy just before we got married and did not bend in his conviction to not father any more children. I would have hated putting him through some medical procedure to get me preggers only to eventually come back to my senses but now have a kid to raise.

If it feels right for you not to bring life into the world, don't. If it feels right for you not to be a parent, so be it. Maybe your husband needs t do some soul-searching, too, and ask himself why the sudden change of heart - why would he ask that of you, knowing how you feel about it? What's that about?
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 10-10-2013 at 09:22 AM.
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