View Single Post
  #14  
Old 10-10-2013, 02:49 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,105
Default

I am what I call "blissfully child-free by choice," and have been ever since I first became sexually active almost 40 years ago. Now that I have entered menopause and am no longer fertile, there is no chance of bearing children - and I have never regretted my choice to be child-free. I am great with kids and have babysat many, for friends or for money. Kids love me, but I always knew that I could not handle the enormous responsibility of being in charge of another human being's emotional, physical, and psychological health and development full-time - I could barely manage my own!

One thing I know for sure, it is not a decision that anyone should make to please someone else. Sure, there was a period in my marriage where I thought about it wistfully, but that was a romantic notion. Thank goodness that wishful thinking didn't last more than a couple of months (I was heavily into my genealogical research and feeling like it would be nice to pass on my work to descendants - not a good reason to have children). Fortunately, my husband had had a vasectomy just before we got married and did not bend in his conviction to not father any more children. I would have hated putting him through some medical procedure to get me preggers only to eventually come back to my senses but now have a kid to raise.

If it feels right for you not to bring life into the world, don't. If it feels right for you not to be a parent, so be it. Maybe your husband needs t do some soul-searching, too, and ask himself why the sudden change of heart - why would he ask that of you, knowing how you feel about it? What's that about?
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

Last edited by nycindie; 10-10-2013 at 09:22 AM.
Reply With Quote