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Old 10-10-2013, 12:30 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
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Good, well-organized post, free.

Re: Terminology ... I actually get the impression that African Americans tend to be "more poly" than white folks, or do white folks just hide it a lot more? Either way, both races obviously tend to think of anything outside strictly-obeyed monogamy to be slutty (even if, or maybe especially if, consent is involved).

Re: poly movies ... they do seem to feature all white actors, don't they. Although as I mentioned in the OP, Hollywood almost never employs black actors, for any kind of movie, especially when it comes to who plays the main character. Oh sure there's exceptions like Django, but come on, that's a movie about slavery in the south. How were they going to not feature black actors in that show?

Interesting proposal that polyamory may be more of an "IT industry animal" than it is a "racial animal." I suppose any line of work that exercises objective thinking in the mind will encourage the worker to figure things out independently rather than just "go along with whatever everyone else seems to be doing."

Very interesting point about the tendency for polyamory and Pagan sects to intersect. Have no idea how to "solve that problem." Does it help to say that there's exceptions to the rule? I'm an atheist, for example. On the other hand, how many Latter-day Saint polyamorists are you going to find? Um, none?

Like you said, though, Christianity isn't necessarily as opposed to polyamory as it professes. Yes, we're now talking about patriarchal polygyny, but how blithely Christians take the Old Testament for granted! Good God, how many wives and concubines did Solomon have?

"Sometimes we as people will look for our own to validate or calm our minds. Kinda like whites going to the ghetto to hang out or do missionary work. It may make you feel safer to know someone else is there that's like you."
Mmmm, well it's true that Latter-day Saint missionaries work in pairs. So you always have your missionary companion (usually white like you) standing by your side.

"As long as I you see another black face out here then maybe I won't get hung."
Yeah, a slight problem there ...

"Me and a friend shared a girl. We would take turns kissing her. Sometimes in front of each other and sometimes by ourselves. I think I was around 7 or 8."
Awww, that whole visual is cute and appealing. If only adults could be as innocent as kids ...

"Try juggling 2 or 3 girls talking on the phone!"
Heh ... well certainly that would be a challenge, but here I think we've touched upon something the races have in common. Polyamory almost always presents a challenge when it comes to juggling multiple partners. Hence the tendency for successful poly families to rely on the good old calendar to hold everything together.

"Without going into every scenario, it is an spoken and unspoken rule that you should grow up and settle for your one true love. One can't be a player forever. I never considered myself a player, but that's what you're labelled as if you have multiple girlfriends."
Ah, but that too is really a multi-racial problem. White folks also tend to excuse a certain amount of "youthful indiscretions," as long as one ends the story happily by eventually marrying their one and only monogamous partner forever and ever amen.

"And yet, those types of relationships continued for me. One type was a MFMM and it was interracial. All the males were black and the female was white. She was gorgeous! A 10 in my book."
A 10 with a thing for black guys. Man, am I turning all shades of green ...

"Of course when my mother found out she gave me the never trust them (white girls) talk. 'They'll get you in trouble. Stick with your own. Too many black men have been killed or put in jail for dating or having sex with them. You don't want to die or go to jail do you?!'"
Hmmm. That's a tough one to argue with. I guess any time a white and a black person hook up, it's always "the black person's fault." Since white people are "naturally so much more virtuous than black people." Sigh, that really sucks. "To Kill a Mockingbird" comes to mind.

How sad is it that one of the few things whites and blacks seem to agree on is that the two races should shun all romantic admixture. Wow. And then it sucks to be a child of a "mixed marriage" of course. Then you don't belong anywhere. So stupid; doesn't have to be that way; heck mixed-race kids are some of the most beautiful people we have (in my opinion).

Interesting that Raleigh, Tampa, Orlando, and Philly have a big poly scene going on. Maybe it's spreading to more cities? I will say that even a lot of "mostly non-poly cities" are starting to sport at least one local poly group (Albuquerque being an example).

Ah, alas, I will only be an Albuquerque polyamorist for a few more months. After that, I will become a Seattle polyamorist (and they have a number of poly groups, so who knows which one I'll eventually join). FWIW, though, Albuquerque will continue to have a poly group after I'm gone. Their yahoo address:

Santa Fe has had a very active poly group for a long time, but we (me and my two poly V companions) never got into it because, hey, why drive to Santa Fe when you can meet up in Albuquerque.

Re: New Mexico ... yes, alas, is one of the many Western states with a low percentage of African Americans. There's a few here, but not many. Mostly our challenge is to develop relations with Hispanics, Latinos, and Native Americans here.

"Sometimes I wonder if poly meetings are a front to get your name in a database for future nefarious intentions."
Really? I guess that's possible. Doesn't seem very likely though. I know it happened in WWII, but I think America and Europeans both learned some hard lessons from that appalling war. Yes, that might be naive on my part. Just sayin', it seems like a reach.

Re: white privelage ... true for some whites, but it's very fair for you to point out that most white folks are just blue collar Joe's who have to worry a lot about piecing (and holding) together a moderate standard of living. Lots of people are taking hits from the poor state of the economy right now.

Re: various minority races perhaps especially Hispanics ... definitely not given a fair shake by your average conservative white American. But that's just it: A lot of white Americans are becoming liberal nowadays, and shaking off the lies that their ancestors taught them.

I guess in summary, there are a lot of racial problems that (still) need to be solved. But it's comforting to know that people are, slowly but surely, getting there (as a whole).

I really enjoyed the movie "Malcom X" (own a copy), and was moved by the fact that earlier in his activist career, Malcom's answer to the white girl's query of, "What can I do to help?" was, "Nothing." And yet approaching the end of the movie, we saw that Malcom had an epiphany about that and speculated that white and black people can work together after all -- yes, and even share a love for one another.

Perhaps the question the white polyamorous community needs to ask is, "How can we help?"
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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