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Old 10-09-2013, 11:55 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern US...
Posts: 182
Default Indepedence?

From this post...

For all that the Myers-Briggs test tells me that I'm equally intro- and extroverted, I don't actually like being alone - until I really do, and then I don't even notice the people around me.

As my wife is on a date (though she's "not poly," just, you know, on a date with her lover who is also my lover who is also ... oh, never mind, it's simple for us but too complicated to explain), I don't really think about being alone. I have kids in the house, which means I'm physically not alone, of course. Also, I'm writing to my long-distance and long-term love, EL, talking about ... well, lots of things.

Maybe I think about it differently from the mindset of the question or LR's response: I'm not really ever alone, even when I'm sitting by myself. I carry multitudes inside me, have conversations with them either asynchronously (via email/etc) or in isolation (meaning, with the person that I carry around inside me). I have SO MANY people, they're deeply alive to me...

I guess I'm never really alone. I wonder if that's the answer you were looking for - I don't think it was...?

Because when I re-read the question, I see that the question was about independence, not about being alone. Even there, I'm not really independent. Kids, spouse, relationships, these are all a web. They interact, they connect, and each part of the web responds to the other parts, via the connections across one or multiple people. I feel grand, being part of a network. I'm not independent at all - I'm connected. I'm not dependent (though I'd be heartbroken to have my connections break), but I'm not independent. Being connected, even when alone, seems to be the whole point of my poly life.

Huh. That's a new way to phrase it. Not sure if others feel that way.
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