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Old 10-09-2013, 02:00 AM
UrbanDiplomat UrbanDiplomat is offline
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 8

Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
So you and an ex are having friendly three-ways with a mutual acquaintance? This is the association you are considering moving to a "next level"?

What you are describing here is a triad. There is at least one built in problem with approaching a relationship with the end goal being a triad. There tends to be an assumption of "equal love" which is profoundly unlikely. The individual relationships (A-B, B-C, A-C) will be unique and I suggest going into a triad realizing that reality. No two relationships are alike and while a triad would *seem* to be one relationship, it is in fact three distinct couples.

Either way, don't force a triad. If a triad wants to happen and you are ok with that then let it... but going in with this as the main goal dramatically increases the odds that it will crash and burn.
Thank you all! This is exactly what I'm looking for. The previous association I spoke of isn't what I'm trying to move forward; I'm currently single and starting anew. From what I've read, it sounds like I want a Closed Triad. The fact that it'd actually be three couples is something I hadn't considered. That's a really good point. I do want everyone to be compatible as it makes things a lot easier generally speaking.

I can see how going into it with the goal of creating a triad could be bad, as it could make my partner feel that she didn't command a sufficient amount of my attention. But, how would I move forward honestly in that case? I mean, I wouldn't wanna just "spring" it on someone I was involved with after we got to know each other. I imagine I could seek out a polyamorous person to be in a relationship with, and then hope for another to come into my life. But then, since I want a closed polyamorous relationship, wouldn't that create a conflict of interests? I couldn't imagine saying "I only want you to be with me, while I remain open for an addition."

Or maybe it'd be a situation where we both had deep feelings for each other, and both anticipated a new which case I'd be "forcing" it by making that the goal in the beginning? Good lord this is confusing now that I'm getting to the nuts and bolts of it all.
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