I cant stomach the thought of letting her go out on her own without at least having the option. She has told me what she wants and I think she is going to have a hard time finding it. We have talked about this and she does not want me to be at home with the kids by myself while she is out playing with someone else. I don't want this to happen either because I would resent her for that. It should be a level playing field. Part of this is her need for female companionship not just sex.
I have already decided that if we do this and she cannot find that right person then I would not do anything. I know that it would be a lot easier for me because I do not require friendship. She cannot just go out and find the first lesbian that she sees and hop into bed with her. She wants to find another woman in her same situation (married with kids).