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Old 10-08-2013, 07:04 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,716

Confused and NutBusterX thanks for your messages. It means a lot to me to know that I have been interesting to someone.

Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter View Post
RP - I may not have commented on here when you stepped back, but I've followed your journey both here and Facebook. I am glad to see that you and Mono have found peace.

I think for many of us, it is difficult to know what to say when a person who was an inspiration to us on our own poly journey suddenly decides that they want to live monogamously. I actually stumbled onto this forum in 2007 or 2008 when doing research into different types of relationship models and families. It wasn't until 2009 when my relationship with Wendigo formed, that I realized that I'd already found the term for what I was, what I have always been, even when I was living "monogamously" (by which I mean, the other relationships I was in were FWBs, and so I didn't see them as real relationships until much later). Your story and LR's story helped me more than I've ever really expressed in those early days when I was trying to navigate having more than one LTR and a family.

I hope that you do stop in from time to time because there is still much we can learn from you about truly being our own primaries. Good luck and enjoy seeing the world from your motorcycle.
Yes, I am definitely not quiet on the secret fb groups I host. lol. I can't shut up ever really. Talking and relaying my inner experience has always been the best way for me to work stuff out.

Living monogamously. Bah! Doesn't sit right, but I guess that is what is going on. Its hard to grasp for me as the term as a definition just doesn't fit somehow. I guess my heart doesn't stop loving others and that is why. I still love fiercely, I just chose to direct the romantic aspect of that towards Mono and act lovingly where I can towards others in my life. Nothing has changed inside as far as love goes. I just have a better grasp on what I can handle at this time and what is worth investing in for me personally. The love is still there.

Originally Posted by wildflowers View Post
RP, you told us you were leaving, so we were not surprised at your absence. I'm sure people did not want to get in the way of your decision to leave; you had enough to deal with already. But I, like the others, have missed your presence here, and am glad to hear that you are happy and content. It's kind of hard for me to fathom how your worldview shifted so radically, but I recognize that you're doing what feels right for you now, and there's no reason you should do anything else. I wish you the best wherever your path takes you (but hope you will at least wander through here at times.)
I did say I was leaving my blog for now and people said good-bye. Then I left as a mod and I heard nothing from anyone. I just found that odd. Then again I find the weirdest things odd.

My world view hasn't shifted for anyone else. Just me. Poly rocks under certain circumstances. Just not mine.
Originally Posted by FullofLove1052 View Post
RP -

I am happy for you, and I hope this new journey brings you much peace and happiness.

.....I struggled with bowing out gracefully from something I have known all of the years I have been dating. I felt like poly just had to be the be all and end all, but I was no longer sure what I was fighting for. Once I did introspection and figured out what I needed, the path illuminated like the stars in the sky. I knew that continuing to be poly or ever wanting to try it again were not feasible options. What I have done may not work for everyone, but it is working for me. So far people have respected it.

We are learning about how to maintain a mono marriage, and this is the most daunting prospect I have ever faced in my life. I have never been in a mono relationship at any point in my life. I was a polyamorist and anything outside of that is unknown. Like you and Mono, people just think it has always been the two of us. I do not feel compelled to correct them or bring up the past.

I do hope you will post updates every so often just to let us know how you are doing. There are plenty of people near and far who care about you and your well-being. Live it up, enjoy, and continue loving yourself.

Yes! Someone who might get what I am going through. Chat?

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
I wish you all the best RP! You show your usual courage in going your own way.
courage. Interesting choice of this word. I have been investigating the cowardly lion from The Wizard of Oz as part of a group halloween costume. My co-workers decided I should be the lion. Lions and their association with courage. It's been an intersting study.
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Last edited by redpepper; 10-08-2013 at 08:35 PM.
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