And Galagirl, are you by any chance a therapist? I love how straight forward you are at analyzing the situation and offering a concise summation of things. It sounds crazy, but even though at first your above post made me feel awful, upon re-reading it I appreciate your candor and I feel it's given me a lot to think about.
I know most of what I've posted thus far has been a jumble of thoughts and it's been cathartic for me just getting every thing out there somewhere (even if it is an anonymous forum), but I feel it's a good first step in analyzing myself.
I feel that I need to have a serious conversation with BF and DH about ways to resolve this issue. I don't know what the future holds for is, but I am forever grateful for the way you lay things out in a very logical fashion for me.