Well, one of the things we try to learn is the difference between self preservation and greed. Because at times it's a fine, gray line.
You can't proceed through life miserable and expect to be full of happiness and love. And as you discovered (?) you can't swing that 180 in the other direction either and block out the rest of the world on your own quest.
Having this basic understanding between people is much talked about & desired but seems not completely understood/practiced. When things aren't measuring up we sometimes try to just swallow it and hope it get's better on it's own.
Every home should - by law - have a "We have a problem Houston" switch and blinking light that can be thrown by anyone at any time. If the light is on, we're required to sit down together in a non-confrontational way and just share what we see broken. Then put our heads together and figure out what options there might be to solve the dilemma.
If only it were that easy...............