Originally Posted by Arisu
tl;dr version: How can I get my girlfriends (long-term and new) to understand that I want them to be happy, that I am doing the best I can to get to a secure place where we can ALL make this work, and that despite what they're saying, they're not listening, and their words rarely match their actions?
Tell them exactly that, exactly those words. You already answered your own questions of what to say. Either tell them when they are together or seperately.