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Old 10-08-2013, 05:44 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 398
Default Note Part 2

Then the end of that weekend came and his work called with an offer for a promotion and a move. If he does get it, then there is no need for the talk because I can't do long distance and from what it sounds like the move would be very soon. If he doesn't than yes, I do hope for the conversation.

I feel torn about this. Because I still want to be with him and love him. That part would not happen if he moves. But I also know that if he doesn't move and I wait for whatever time the two of them think would work for it not to happen that heartbreak would come back and be harder to get over and move on than if he did move. But I'm terrified of either of them moving.

As I stated he is probably my second best friend in my life. Lamian is one of my closest friends. Because of all the things that happened during the relationship, my friendship with Lamian feels like it's been shattered. The same feeling is there in regards to my friendship with Seven since the breakup. I'm no longer really privy to things going on in their life. Time is not made for us to do things. There is no interest in my life. I feel like I'm nothing more than an acquaintance/roommate. All of that I miss. And I fear that if they move without at the very least this getting repaired it never will. They will move and the little connection we have from living together will fade. That there would be no effort or response on keeping in touch or making time to visit/see each other.

I've lost myself, I've lost a love that means the world to me, I've lost an ability to be who I am with someone. I'm now dealing again with the heartbreak of the end of a relationship that brought me immense joy and that I wish could have lasted much longer than it did. I fear I'm going to on top of that now lose my best friend and confidant and a close friend. I'm losing family even if they don't think of me that way anymore. Part of my heart and part of my home will be leaving.

I don't know where I am emotionally. I don't know where to go. I don't know what I prefer (for him to get the job or not). I know I wish the time since right before the break-up to now didnít happened and I was still with him. I want if he gets this job and does end up needing to leave a few days for us to be able to be with each other. I need the closure we didn't have from the break-up, the one last day/night together, and the ability to say good bye to him in every way before he's gone.

I also hope that my fears are unfounded and that somehow the friendships with both of them become what they were again.
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
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