I got sidetracked like something serious. This response was supposed to immediately follow the other one, but mummy and wifely duties called.
Back to Friday night aka the reunion night. We had reservations for pre-dinner drinks at 7:30. I am not sure if it was something in the water or the air, but the heat was turned up. Admittedly, I was doing things to turn him on and distract him. We did not leave the house until 7:20 for a 7:30 reservation. Pitiful, huh?
During dinner, I upped the ante. Liquid encouragement? Oh yes. I whispered in his ear how bad I wanted to fuck him. His facial expression said it all. When we got to the car, he told me, "You are going to have to back all of that talk up and let me see what is really up." Before slipping behind the wheel and intentionally rubbing against him, I told him, "He
is up, but trust me, I can and will back it up."
Unfortunately, there was no sex, yet. Parenting duties came first. We made it home around 9:00 to put our little ones to bed. By 9:30, they were sleeping peacefully. DH and I went back out after they were in bed. We went to this grown and sexy lounge. When we were dancing, we were pretty damn hot. I love to watch him dance because he is so smooth. Our styles blend well together. He knows the language my body speaks as if it were his first language. It translates brilliantly on the dance floor.
When we got home, he woke Nanny J up, so she could retire. We said our good-nights to her, and I knew it was on. He had me up against the wall in the entryway. He asked, "Ready to prove that you are more than talk?" I asked him if he meant right in that spot, and he said, "Yeah. Quit stalling." He kissed me, and I felt his hand in between my thighs. Something about a series of spine tingling, knee buckling, toe curling orgasms just makes you want to slide down a wall. In a swift movement, my legs were wrapped around his waist, and he was inside of me. My body welcomed as much of him as it could handle. My breathing increased with every stroke. I had to cling to him and ride the wave of pleasure that consumed me. I felt like I had been hit by a thunderbolt. He had me turned on, turned out, and wondering what was going to happen next. Little did I know, that was just the start.
I needed to regain my composure after that. I took a shower with him to calm my body down. I was still feeling the aftermath of our previous session. He got out of the shower after me and just watched me putting on moisturiser and putting my hair up. He asked if we could do something, and I was hesitant at first but agreed. He went in to my closet and brought out two scarves. He tied me my hands to the bed. Tight enough to keep me in place but loose enough for me to slip out if I had to. He informed me that if anything was going to be happening in between or on the sheets, I would have to tell him what I wanted.
<-- my face.
He asked me where I wanted his mouth, his hands, etc. With his mouth, it started with a kiss. After every brush of his lips on my skin, he would ask if it was there or somewhere else that I wanted him? He moved down to the nape of my neck, my décolletage, my nipples, in between my breasts, the plane of my abdomen, the spot right below my navel, each leg from hip to foot (inner and outer), and when he placed his mouth on me and tasted me, I arched up to meet the his tongue and said, "There!" That was all I could get out. Between his fingers and mouth, I ascended that high many times over. At one point, when he was kissing me and fingering me, I was within seconds of exploding again. I looked him in his eyes and told him, "I want to feel you inside of me right now." Before he gave me what I wanted, he untied me. Our lovemaking was different than the first time. In a totally uncharacteristic move, I started weeping. He asked if I was okay and if I needed a minute. He did not move until I gave him the okay to do so. He was so tender and patient.
I cried because I felt wide open and had nothing to hide behind. No clothing. No dim lighting. I swear my body never bounced back completely after my pregnancies, so I was never overly confident with my post-pregnancy body. I bitched about the pesky 4.6 kgs I was holding on to until a few months ago. 4.6 measly kgs, and one could have sworn it was 46.
I am not even sure he knew what he had done right then, but he broke down the wall of insecurity I had surrounding my body. He looked at me as if I had the perfect body and was most beautiful woman in the world. He appreciated everything--including my godawful hysterotomy scar, and I saw no reason to be insecure. Usually, I would want to hide it and cover up immediately, but I was totally comfortable and secure last night. Even after I was untied. That was the first time that has happened. There is something to be said about allowing yourself to be vulnerable and trusting with your whole heart and being.
We cuddled after and talked about the tears. He thinks my body is perfect and does not understand why I would want to hide it from him. Like I told him, I think the scar is disgusting. He believes otherwise and appreciates what it represents: the birth of our son. I can look at it like that. Tying me up was one way to insure that he would be able to admire my body in its entirety without me stopping him. Kudos to him for pushing me outside of my comfort zone and helping me see that there is nothing wrong with my body. As I always do, I curled up in his arms, laid my head on his chest, and slept peacefully for the rest of the night. I sleep better when in his arms.
What a journey to the new normal this has been. 30 weeks, 5 days down and a lifetime to go. Some highs. Some lows. Some great sex. Some real life changing decisions. Ready and willing to tackle whatever comes my way.