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Old 03-05-2010, 08:36 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I'm feeling a little hurt by this assumption that I would somehow have rules for partners around my child. I need to be loved and like nothing more than to share that with several people. Why would I want to constrict that by setting rules and making assumptions that people do things my way.
Nobody to my knowledge is making assumptions about you specifically. You brought up the subject with posting about Franklin's post and everybody- yourself, myself and everyone else- is coming at the discussion from their own hard earned experiences.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Its our job I think, to respectfully educate and engage others by using examples from our own lives and that of others. Not immediately disagree and bombard them with anger over our pain and hurt. It has made me feel disrespected and hurt. I am not wanting to write anything and certainly haven't learned anything. I just feel defensive and hurt. I would like to feel engaged, thoughtful about peoples experiences and respected for where I am at in my own journey about parenting and relationship juggling. I like to think I do my best to meet people where they are at, I expect that same respect.
I think it's also our job to be honest about when certain actions or ways of relating create hurtful consequences for others.

You have certainly bombarded others with anger when you have felt hurt over what somebody says, often when it's not even about you. You're not the only person struggling and it would be very hard to have any conversations if people aren't allowed to express their hurt and anger, especially since it's been repeatedly said that if you're not one of the people who do the things that are hurtful, then the people expressing the hurt and anger are not talking about you. I'm sorry to be blunt about this, but I'm honestly having a hard time understanding how expecting others to be less than honest about their own feelings is respectful. It's not something that's healthy to do in any relationship.
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