Thread: Vicki's Journey
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Old 10-07-2013, 11:41 PM
Vicki82 Vicki82 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Niagara Falls, NY
Posts: 197

I came home from a day with E to a bit of a disaster. Apparently I screwed up. I knew H had been feeling a bit under the weather, but I didn't realize he was as sick as he was. E was hosting a dinner party Saturday to celebrate his birthday, since most of his friends weren't available last weekend for his actual birthday.

So, poor H was on his own looking after our child, who apparently had one of those days from hell. H was royally stressed out and pissed because he felt like I was putting my "other life" ahead of our family. He admits that he is likely overreacting, but he was very upset today, to the point of asking if I'd stop going to kink parties for the rest of the year.

I had a really hard time with that. I love my husband very much, but I don't want to give up going to these parties. I am a stay at home mom, and I don't have much social contact- this is what gives me my downtime. I explained that to him, and he said he wanted me to show him that he comes first. I told him I would be happy to do my best for that. I won't be going for the next few weeks anyway because we have family stuff every weekend until November.

He admitted that me asking for two weekends a month isn't unreasonable but I can see right now he is hurting. I felt blindsided because I wasn't expecting to come home to a hot mess when I just went to a dinner party. Clearly there's some stuff there that we need to talk about. He says he didn't realize there was something bothering him, but because of his work he hadn't been home for a month and had only been back for 5 days, so we hadn't really had time to reconnect yet.

It's just a giant clusterf*ck. Sigh. My head hurts. At least he's made it clear that he doesn't expect me to go back to being monogamous, because he knows that isn't something I'm willing to do anymore. But right now I'm sad and lonely and hurting and exhausted.
Me: 33 yrs, poly pansexual Dominant female.
My People: Mark/StbxH, my husband of ten years, now separated for 18 months with no desire of reconciliation.
Henry, 29yrs, my collared submissive, dating for 2 years and cohabitating for 1 year. Currently no other partners.
Kiddo, my 6 year old son
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