Thread: Comparing
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Old 10-07-2013, 08:52 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is online now
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,356

Yes, comparing is sometimes based in insecurities.

And anything can be taken too far. But I meant it as a questioning tool.

I struggled with comparing. I finally realized that the comparisons always focused on things I felt insecure about. That is what gave me the clue (as with jealousy) to use the feelings as a guide to things I needed to work on.
So you came to ask yourself "What is wrong with comparing here? What bugs me?" and you worked it through.

Her husband could also look at it and ask himself "what is wrong with compare and contrast here? Where does it bug me? How can I fix it? What do I need to solve? " in his own situation to help himself move it forward. I happen to think he could be trying to compete.

But he's not the one writing the post. She is.

She also cannot do that work for him. She can only do her behavior. She cannot do his.

She took a look at "what is wrong with compare and contrast" on her side of things and found a behavior SHE could change -- not tell sex details to her DH because it is ADDING to the problem. Now she can try that solution out and see if things improve or not. She could also try to reassure him, and ask him to work on his "insecure."

But in the end tending that side of it is up to him when he is willing/able to attend to it.

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