I saw Kip, he made some time, shared deeply and then fell of the map. He has done this before. Not unusual behavior for someone to reveal and then retreat. I pinged him midweek, he responded a couple of times then dropped off again. I know he is ok, taking time to process, but I miss him.
I had a very nice hotel date with Prof, lovely dinner after, Then the next night we went to the event. He had put a gift card in with my ticket, then sent a text saying "this is not a gift
" I let it go. He has been doing well with letting the rule reminders drop. He even initiated holding hands in public and some hugging. That is one place he hasn't gone before, he usually reminds me that he can't. I don't care about PDAs and was surprised he got all touchy feely.
He was in a sharing mood too asked about his Christmas cake and I said I was also making his birthday treat. He said it was important that someone made something special, just for him, it was the one thing he missed about being married. I lost the ebay bid on his birthday present, but found something very similar, fingers crossed I win that.
I have never actually read the love languages book but skimmed a few articles to get the drift and believe we are both acts of service people. I will show you I care by doing things that I know you enjoy and would appreciate. I am really crap at buying gifts (always practical), not great at the touching thing outside of sexy time and trying hard to increase the words of affection. But ask me to do, and I will do to the best of my ability. And I offer too
This plays into the sub thing too, an act of service that I completely enjoy.
Kip wanted a Christmas cake too. They have been made and are being fed with brandy once a fortnight. No more dating people with Euro connections and a passion for matured Christmas cake! These things take a while to put together and involve ordering ingredients and getting my folks to bring items over. Act of service for sure.
I saw Yo. We had sex, it was as bad as I remembered, I thought I would give it one more try. Bad move.
My thoughts on this... I have great sex with one, I have very good sex often great sex with the other, bad sex I don't need. While somethings could be worked out with discussion there is just not that savoir-faire.
Kip and Prof both brought it up recently. Good sex is good, but great sex is an uncommon thing to find and maintain. That connection with a partner that enables you to let it all go. I really like Yo, I find him attractive in many ways but it is just not there between the sheets and I don't think it ever will be. At least there were no agreements made to start seeing each romantically again, slide back into the friend zone.
I do consider myself fortunate to have 2 lovers that regularly rock my socks and vice versa (or so I am told
) I need to let my little polyship cruise along and stop messing with the sails.