Is this right for me?
Hello, lately I've been struggling with feelings that make me feel very guilty.
I've been with my current boyfriend for almost a year now, and we're very happy together. I can't imagine my life without him, we have so much fun together, and I love him so very much.
But I feel as if I love another, as well. He's a person I've known longer, have dated before, and have never actually met. I feel as if he's had an unfair advantage, because he lives in a different state.
I had to choose between the two of them before, and I chose my boyfriend. It was a very difficult choice, and it tortured me for a very good time afterwards. He wanted to cut off communication from me, but I just couldn't deal having him out of my life. We ended up staying friends, and still talk every day. Ever since I had to choose, I've been struggling with these feelings. I feel so guilty for still loving him, even though I already have a wonderful boyfriend. I feel like such an awful girlfriend, and it's really beginning to get to me.
I've been reading up on Polyamory, and I am interested in a V. But I don't know how I could even bring that up to them. I feel so selfish for considering it.
I guess I'm just asking if I'm really as awful as a person as I think I am, and if something like this could work for me? And, if it would, how I could bring it up to my current boyfriend, and the other man I love?