Now that he's left the computer I'll chime in.
We're not really looking at having a commitment ceremony-though the first post sort of sounded that way.
Really the issue is that if I have a lover (GG) what does our marriage MEAN?
Maca's definition of marriage leaves no room for ANYONE but husband and wife 100% committed to one another.
My definition has never been that or even similar to that, but isn't really pertinent to the discussion at hand.
The reality is that much as Mono said-I love Maca, I don't NEED to prove it to anyone else, I know it inside of me like I know when my stomach hurts.
Likewise I love GG and I don't need to prove it to anyone else because I know it inside of me the same way.
There are others, who aren't "lovers".
I simply don't identify "love" as being such a singular concept. I can and do love all 4 of my children, my sisters and brothers (full, 1/2, step, foster), Maca, GG etc with a deep, all-encompassing love.
I don't "rate" them and I don't find that it's necessary to. They are all "my loves", period.
But it's never been so for Maca and so he's struggling to find himself in light of wanting to be with me, but not wanting to share me, not only with a lover, but with anyone.
As for ceremonies-I think that it's good to have one so long as you know what it is you are doing it for.
As for ensuring security of relationships, particularly in poly situation, it's IMPERATIVE to cover the details outlined previously.
Because laws limit rights and if those rights matter to you, you better cover the details before something happens to one or another of you and tragic heartbreak occurs ALSO.