Thread: Comparing
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Old 10-05-2013, 07:34 AM
Hoyam Hoyam is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Europe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
What is wrong with "compare and contrast?"

Because I don't see that is a problem. Here's this apple. Here's this orange. Both are fruits. One is red, the other orange. One is crunchy, the other one juicy. Each one is yummy, but you get a different experience with each.

The problem comes in with "compete." Once that enters the picture there's the anxiety fear of "I am afraid I cannot compete. I am afraid I will come up lacking, I am not enough, I am less than."

If he's going off into that zone? Could this help?

http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/p.../jealousy.html
http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/im...ed_10-6-10.pdf

Galagirl
Thanks for all the answers! Some i will read again, cause it contains a lot of information.

Galagirl, i like what you say and i agree. Only my orange, is becoming more and more confused cause he is no apple. And now he knows that i like both oranges and Apples he sometimes tries to become an apple. But an orange dressing up like an Apple is not yummy! Haha. So i think comparing is realy maybe not the issue, but competing is.

I see the common reaction is not to be too detailed about especially the sexual part. I agree. Not because i can't or won't but because he is not dealing with that information well. So for this moment: do what works, stop what doesn't work...
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