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Old 03-05-2010, 01:09 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I'm not arguing that somethings on here are obnoxious, annoying, rude etc.

But more often than not what I've seen-in myself and others-is an inability to understand what a person TRULY meant. We miss the playfulness or the sarcasm, or the intended meaning of a word (lord that was a hell of a thread because two people understood fuckbuddy to have different meanings!), or we expect the person we're talking to to be able to understand OUR experience and point of view-even though they have NO frame of reference for it.

Personally-I do choose to skip the messages that are triggering annoyance in me now. Because this is online-not r/l. I find it VERY important to address misunderstandings and annoyances in r/l. But here, why do I need to argue with anyone? I can go sleep on it-and contemplate it if I so desire until I can come up with WHY they may have said/thought/done whatever it was I found so irritating, I don't have to sit on here arguing endlessly about it.

I think the endless "no, I'm right and you are wrong!" posts and the "how dare you say xyz because we all KNOW it means tuv" posts are highly destructive to the overall atmosphere, compared to if we let the battle go and worked on showing an example of the type of communication we wish everyone had....
I happen to think it's a bit more than that, and I've laid out why in my previous posts.

Some people seem to have appointed themselves tacit permission *not* to address it when they've said or posted something hurtful yet tend to demand it when they are on the other side of the equation. And that seems to be a condoned behavior in general here, which is why many seasoned and experienced poly people and leaders in the various poly communities generally don't think very much of this forum.

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I think DOING what we wish others would do-and doing it OFTEN would accomplish a LOT more then bitching about how lousy other people are at doing it......

When issues are *discussed* in a *discussion* forum and ignorance and assumptions arise from that that echo the very real experiences of ignorance and assumptions one experiences in their day to day life and a person decides to open that up to a discussion by calling it out, it's rather belittling to label that as "bitching". I'm not sure exactly what you are labeling as "bitching" and doubt that was your intent, but there it is nonetheless.
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