Thread: in over my head
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Old 10-04-2013, 03:02 PM
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pcflvly pcflvly is offline
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 57

The fact that she waited two weeks... it seems she has a record of regular flings and most of her paramours are strewn by the wayside. She decided to keep me though.

What do I need? I need for her to keep her primary relationship together. I don't want her so in love with me that they suffer. That's the big one for me. She has two kids, a 14 year old and a ten year old. I'm a secret from them. I don't like that she has to keep secrets. Meanwhile my teen girls, 15 and 17, know all about her. She had supper with us last night. I don't want her to move in with me though. I like living alone, well, it's just me, one of my daughters, and a disabled relative.

Okay, this is what got me confused. I met another girl. It was just a brief encounter at the pub and we only talked for a minute there. Since then we struck up a conversation. So I told my poly girl that I was going to ask her out. It was our first fight. She got jealous, very jealous but tried to hide it. When I called her out on it she started beating herself up repeating that she had no right to be jealous. I guess it's kind of scary to me to find that she likes me so much.

I sent her this though, "Your feelings do matter and it is indeed a different dynamic than mine. You have a husband and a sweet primary lover (insensitive sometimes if you hadn't noticed) Your card is pretty full. If you have a fling, the other two are not at that much risk for losing you. Yes it's a possibility. Your husband might meet someone and have flings too and there again, he is going to come back. No risk or small risk of loss. However, if your lover meets someone, you might lose them. From what you've said it has happened before. *****, we've known each other for more than a month and have been seeing a lot of each other. I am emotionally invested in you and our relationship is important to both of us. You told him and you kept me and that kind of makes it a big deal. You went to bat for me. So, you are my number one girlfriend. I don't have any others right now and I'm not looking to replace you anytime soon. You must know that I am totally thrilled to be with you and I hope that doesn't change for a long time if ever."
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