It sounds like you're upset that your wife only recently revealed she's bi, she's had sex with women, and now that she's married to a guy who believed she was straight and mono, she's come out as actually bi and poly... Are you kind of reeling from all this new info?
Are you poly? Do you feel you are willing, able and eager to fall in love with another woman and still love your wife? If you're actually mono, chances are if you set your sights on another woman, you could fall out of love with your wife.
Just a warning from one who's been there, do not imagine that both of you falling in love and lust with the same woman, and her with you both, has much chance of happening. (Not saying you're thinking of hot 3somes, but so many people do, including me... and I got burnt. We all did.)
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37