Originally Posted by nycindie
Well, umm... wouldn't they have found out when they got the results? It's all spelled out, so if they don't see a test for HSV on the print-out, then... you know, logically, there was no test for it.
I don't get it. How could people think they were tested for something that they weren't? Don't the docs go over the results with them? And doesn't everyone ask for a hard copy nowadays, to see all the test results in black & white? If they're not doing that, do they just expect their new potential lovers to take them at their word what their test results were?
I'm stymied here.
No. It's not spelled out.
You get a card in the mail saying "your test results are negative".
If there is a positive it says "one of your test results was positive please contact your provider".
And I was actually considered unreasonable for suggesting hard copies being shared.
No one felt that was appropriate or necessary or reasonable to request. In fact, just suggesting that they need to take a CURRENT test was proclaimed as me espousing "couple privilege" and being an "overly controlling" partner.
Interestingly-several friends in the swinging circles encountered the same. One was "new" to swinging and "went with the flow" and when she and her husband decided to be poly started discussing things with me and I suggested that I would need a hard copy test she was STUNNED. After several years as swingers, they had NEVER ONCE encountered ANYONE who even ASKED about testing. Much less actually insisted on proof.
This has created a large amount of conflict for Maca and I. Because he's very much a "norm follower" and all but one of the ladies he's considered in the poly world have found it OFFENSIVE that the suggestion was even made that STI testing needed to be done. Flat out offensive.
The only one who didn't, was in the medical field as a profession and already did her testing on a 3 month basis anyway. But she was practically gleeful that it was brought up-because everyone had thought SHE was ridiculous for wanting that.