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Old 10-02-2013, 03:20 PM
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drinnt drinnt is offline
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Location: New England
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As someone new to poly but not new to casual sex (swinging) I guess the communication aspect comes easily...that, and I've learned my lessons.

For your situation...if I were in it...I would most certainly be taking responsibility for my OWN health and safety. Part of that is understanding a little bit more about who I am hooking up with. I guess what you are talking about is really two things.

1) There's the "frat / music industry" aspect of getting fucked up and throwing caution to the wind...waking up saying "what the fuck did I do last night" and smiling a wicked smile at how adventurous you are...then going to the STD clinic after the hangover wears off.

2) Living a responsible life as someone who enjoys hooking up and having a good time with others of like mind while remaining safe and sane in the process.

I guess the first one is pretty much giving up your life to fate.

The second one involves a lot of questions about what level of risk do you really want to invite into your life. The health risk of drinking too much and fucking blind. The emotional risk of treading all over someone else's relationship that could come back to YOU. The mental risk of having to deal with the consequences of your actions.

Personally I don't see the fact that your poly coming into the situations you've been involved with until you begin to enter a relationship with some one. Sleeping around and partying is just being single and having a good time. It really isn't until one of your partners asks for something more that your being poly comes into play. How soon you disclose that is up to you...but if its just a one night stand...it doesn't matter IMHO. Of course if you really like someone and things begin to develop...like a connection or regular get-togethers then you will know instinctively that as you get to know each other they should be aware of your poly inclinations.

Those are just the thoughts that strike me from what you wrote.
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J - my wife & partner since 2000
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Da - dating in a polyamorous relationship
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