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Old 03-04-2010, 08:13 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
The rant is very good at placing the blame on everyone else for issues that you're having in a public forum. Seems odd that the rest of us aren't having these same issues if there are so many of these terrible sorts of people.
Actually, there are several other people I know of who have left this forum for the very reasons Joreth has stated. I also know several people who are active and long time members and organizers of poly communities take one look at this forum and decide not to bother because of over-protective and defensive flavor of the general posts. And given the very low ratio of active members to actual members, it suggests to me that the "welcoming environment" that is sought is a very selective one indeed since there are a relatively few number of people who choose to stick around. There are MANY people who have left this forum because they have felt this to be a hostile environment. And not because of posts such as Joreth's but because it just doesn't seem to be allowed to offend certain active members of this forum without there being a whole hell of a lot of fallout, even if what is considered "offending" is an actual hard truth being called out.

As Joreth said in her post:

People are allowed to be insulting, for as long and as often as they want, as long as it's not overt or uses angry language. People are protected from ever seeing that the people they're insulting are getting angry, because the penalty is for the people who get angry at poor treatment, not the people who are initiating the poor treatment.
I am often disappointed by the culture of this forum, which seems to view disagreements as attacks and seems to hold a high double standard for what is hostile or not. People post things that are ignorant and insulting regularly here, yet more noise and complaints are made about calling out the ignorance and the insults. It seems the only way to "contribute to the community in a positive manner" is to allow the ignorance and assumptions to go unchecked and to allow one's self to be continually insulted without getting angry and addressing it. At least for some members that seems to be the case.

In the moderation letter addressed to Joreth it was said, "As such we'll not abide behavior that creates a hostile atmosphere or makes other members feel unwelcome, belittled or insulted." I might change the phrase "other members" to "certain members", because believe it or not, there have been several people on this forum who have felt belittled and insulted by the dominant culture and have since left (I've often felt insulted and belittled, but I have a high tolerance for hostile environments) because of the environment here that people seem to be working very hard to protect.

If this forum actually had the goal of trying to create a positive friendly community that was inclusive and welcoming, then it would require a lot more self-reflection than it seems people are willing to put in. I would suggest that this is a good opportunity for this forum to actually examine some very real issues here and possibly come out with an even more welcoming inclusive online presence, but honestly I doubt it's something that's going to happen.
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