Well, from his perspective... it's tough not having your needs met. D/s is not something I would be happy if it wasn't in my life either. I have pretty much sworn off vanilla romantic relationships at this point because they don't meet my needs.
Has he considered having an online Mistress at least, if you aren't interested and there's no local scene?
Me: 31 year old poly bisexual Dominant female, married to mono H (married 9 years). Dating mono J, 1 month.