View Single Post
  #519  
Old 10-01-2013, 11:05 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,441
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBunny View Post
1) How long do you message someone online before it should move into telephone/skyping/meeting depending on which you prefer?
It really depends on the person. If we have a connection and I trust them, messaging outside of the website (emails or skype) could happen the same day.
Meeting in person will also depend on the type of meeting. Meeting one-on-one with nobody else? That would take a while. But if we have interests in common, I could invite them after about a week or so to an activity they'd enjoy that I'm already doing with a bunch of friends (not in anyone's home, in a public place, such as playing games at a game store) and get to know them that way. If THAT goes well, I might plan to see them alone that same week or the next one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBunny View Post
2) If you are not particularly physically attracted to someone's pictures, but not repulsed, is it worth it to meet in person? She would be driving for a few hours to meet with me, so I'd hate to have her come and then I'm blasé about her. I have no intention of getting with anyone unless I'm feeling Passion with a capital "P."
Did you tell her that? The last part at least. Considering she's apparently the one doing the driving, it's important not to send her on a wild goose chase. Make sure she knows that this first meeting is as friends only and is likely never to progress further, and then if she's still up for driving to meet you, that's her call.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBunny View Post
3) My profile explains I'm married, husband knows I date outside the marriage, but he will not be involved. The woman I'm talking to has a long-distance boyfriend who allows her to date women. By about our fourth message, I decided to give her the gritty details of my level of experience in bisexuality/non-monogamy, and my current arrangement with my husband. I wanted to make sure the situation was acceptable to her so there'd be no misaligned expectations. I asked for details about her level of experience with women and open relationships. Now I'm wondering if I should have waited to discuss all that until AFTER we were fairly certain there was an attraction. I'm worried that saying so much so soon projected a level of intention I don't necessarily feel (like I'm definitely wanting to have relations with this woman.) Thoughts?
The better the sooner. Don't hide things from her. You are not promising anything by making sure you guys could be compatible, and waiting later to check for basic compatibility would not be very helpful, as you would have invested a lot into something that could end in a minute of you realising you're not on the same page... which would hurt a lot if you have developed attraction or feelings towards one another.
Make sure to tell HER that you're not promising anything. There is no point in telling US. She's the one who deserves to know that. But provided you make it clear, you're definitely doing the right thing making sure you guys are compatible as early as possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBunny View Post
4) I don't want to lie on my profiles. But I feel embarrassed putting my own income, which isn't much, so I put my household income instead, which relies on my husband's salary. Without him, I'd be near poverty level. I love the work I do, but it's not a big money maker and comes with zero benefits. So...my salary or my household salary? Remember, these women are dating me only. Husband will have no involvement (his choice.)
I always put "prefers not to answer" to questions like that. I feel that shouldn't come into account in dating someone. You could do the same thing, or you could add a note on your profile saying this is your household income so that nobody can feel you lied about it when they find out.
Reply With Quote