Thanks, Opalescent... No, she's never said anything overtly - it's more that I get in a funk every now and then that I rarely see his family (except for big holidays), and M1 is close enough to see them for dinner fairly regularly and the like. I feel like the "invisible partner" at times, and there's little to do about it when schedules collide.
I'd like to see them more often, but P says he sees them enough ("But if you want to hang out with the crazy people, fine!"). I'd like to find a better balance than what we have now, but given my schedule, and people's overall reluctance to drive (this is RI - sense of distance is REEEEALLY skewed and a drive of 20 minutes is OMGFOREVER!), I'm going to find it harder to strike a balance than I would an hour into a game of Jenga.
Logically, I *do* know that the reason P's mom didn't feel comfortable with my mom there is that it was just weird... she had barely gotten to know me, and that year was the first time EVERYONE was at her house. P's son had come back from living at his mother's house, which kind of threw everyone into a tizzy, and here are not only P's TWO partners, but one of them had her kids AND her mom. I can totally agree with the "OMG, Calgon, take me away!" that she must have been feeling.
And I hadn't intended on dropping that on her lap (hell, I was surprised when it was dropped in my lap!) - I shortened things for brevity a bit (wouldn't know it from the novel I wrote), but I was worried THEN that I'd have to bow out, and did call her afterwards to make sure it was all right, and to thank her (profusely). I agree that calling her myself now would be a good idea. Time to get over my stupid phone phobia and just do it (I can blather on in person like there's no tomorrow - why do I hate the damned phone so much??).
Emotions and insecurities got ramped up and compounded with the other small triggers to make the molehill into a mountain, much as it always does when I go a bit wonky.
Problem now is that P's having a shitty day at work, and while I'm feeling a bit better about it all now that I've dug and hit paydirt, I'm thinking he's not going to be in the best mood for talking. Hopefully the commute doesn't suck too, or I might as well avoid him all night.
Always an adventure, now isn't it?
Mono. Divorced, two kids, two cats, one house with many projects.
Chops (previously 'P'):
My partner of ~3 years. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena (previously M1):
Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa (previously AG):
Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).
My navel-gazing blog thread:
A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")