Originally Posted by FullofLove1052
I realise why I feel so selfish now. "You have to suck it up and be okay with me opening my heart, my life, and my legs to another person while you are sitting at home with our children or occupying the time with a useless hobby." Or even better. "You have to sleep alone because I want to be in two relationships, and I cannot treat her like a booty call or a part-time relationship." "There is nothing wrong with you. I just have all this love, and I want to share it with the world, so you can either deal with it or drop the mic and exit the stage on the left." "You have to be understanding of me wanting to say forget my vows and let me do me." Whether I said these things directly or implied them, looking back, they sound like shit and make me feel like shit. It is no wonder that I am not sure if I want to return to my old ways.
I finally realise just how unfair it is. A month and some days later and I am struggling to see any benefits. Yes, I was able to love who I wanted to. Yes, I was able to have my cake and eat it, too. Yes, I was able to have co-primaries, co-parents, and blah blah blah. What do I have now? An ex-girlfriend, missing trust, an uncomfortable husband, and I have no idea what or who I am anymore.
It was unfair to Si as well.
In some ways I wish this sentiment was more prevalent in the poly world. Seeing things from the point of view that it is harsh to ask a mono person to "suck it up", "get a hobby" so that the poly person can enjoy the love of multiple people. Realizing the harshness of these statements should make being considerate to our partners easier. These are the things IMO that Poly people should acknowledge with their partner regularly.
Momoiroi, Kuroi I know it is difficult for you when I am not sharing my life, my time, and my attention with you. Thank you for accepting me, and giving me the opportunity to love others where and how I would like to. I love you two very much.