Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
Murasaki-absolutely! We had help from our adult daughter and her husband, my mom and stepdad and my sister. The other family is spread far enough they werent readily available.
But- as noted, this wasn't a request to stop a relationship, deter or even set boundaries on frequency of visits/contact.
It was actually a request to not have her in my presence while I was already suffering. Ironically-she wouldnt know, but it wasnt just her. I dont care for any people I am not close to around me during a crisis.
Even in labor and delivery, no nurses, no friends, no extra family. Just my SO and dr (or midwife).
Medical vulnerability for me is significant and I dont want people I dont trust *in that circumstance* around me.
Which-in my opinion is a minor request.
But it erupted into a shitstorm that acquaintances in Washington who were involved in helping start the poly group here witnessed.
I suppose its telling that I exited silently.
The drama ensued.
It took about a year and most of the original people reached out to me with "I just didnt know what to do" explanations.
But for me personally-I see it as a burned bridge.
I don't accept that its ok to stand by and allow someone to be so abusive (details logged in other threads) and a group not step up and say "we dont allow that behavior in our social events". Its not side taking. Its expecting adult behavior. But-that is not the attitude here.
I have read some of your story, and do recall that you prefer to have very very few people around during labor and delivery include your SO's. So it makes sense that this preference is for all medical issues. I actually very much appreciate your poly style. It is closer to what I prefer.
I will eventually get caught up on your story. >.>