Originally Posted by redpepper
I would suggest that anyone wanting to date someone with a child take that into consideration... it isn't a prescription, it just is. Those little people, by their very nature, are demanding. They are the captains of the ship in many ways and within certain limits, mixed with the whole having to be responsible for them bit.
I would suggest that people stop making the assumption that prospective partners are the kind of people who don't already take into account the kind of commitment a child requires. Because unless a person has a habit of getting involved with jerks, most prospective partners are generally going to know these things and it isn't a magic knowledge that belongs only to those people who have children. And it's pretty insulting to be continually treated like a person who needs to be told this since it's kind of filed under "should be obvious" for a great deal of the population. And for those for whom it isn't, I probably would get the clue pretty quickly that they are not someone who I would bother getting involved with.
That's the point that has been repeatedly made throughout this thread, yet again people feel the need to point out the obvious- that children are an important consideration in any relationship. NOBODY is disputing that and that has been said REPEATEDLY throughout this. The issues that have been brought up are hurtful and real situations that are faced by people and yet people are continuing to ignore that and try to argue a point that is NOT being made.
So if you're talking about simply knowing that your child is the most important factor in your life when making relationship decisions and creates natural limits that everyone has to work with, the issues that are being raised are not about you or the fact that kids are important and naturally create boundaries and limits.