Thread: Why??
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Old 10-01-2013, 03:31 AM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern US...
Posts: 182

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
She wanted to be your what? Your crush? Or something else? And how did she decide to 'be' something she hadn't previously been? What changed?
Well, in this case, it was about sex, and we kind of laughed that my wife would say "but *I* wanna be your fuck buddy!" So, what the hell, we tried acting like silly teenagers, and it worked. We had fun.

She didn't really decide to 'be' something she hadn't previously been. She'd listened to me for many years, the mono listening to the poly, and had absorbed some of the ideas and gained an understanding of it. She'd say it wasn't for her, but she at least understood it in me. And then, with AM, she woke up one morning, asking "is THIS what he feels?!" and promptly freaked out that she'd somehow "turned" poly. She hasn't. Nor is she bi. She's in love with a woman, but not "wired" to be bi or poly, and no, I don't want to argue about those words with anyone right now. Give us a year and they might use different terminology. Right now, we're still adjusting to something very very new in our lives.

I don't want to write too much more without hijacking the thread, though. The reason I bring it up is that it required a lot of trust, honesty and openness, and respect. And lots of patience. The story takes more than a decade. It sounds like the OP has not had enough trust, honesty, openness, and respect to feel safe. And that's rough.
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