The OP is very much playing the martyr in, her situation..
* They have the need to be a victim and complain always and relentlessly.
* They take little initiative in trying to fixing any complaint.
* If any problem is solved, but in a different way than what*they proposed, the problem still exists, as far as they are concerned.
* If any problem is solved according to their solution, they will find another problem to complain about.
* If any problem is solved, it is because they complained about*it.
* They complain about problems that do not concern them in the*least.
* They do not appreciate any good things being*done.
* They lie and twist facts to prove their*point.
* They selectively forget, ignore or avoid any facts that may conflict with their*point.
* They resort to name-calling when everything else*fails.
I am not saying that the OP is guilty of all of these. But I could see them being applied IF we knew the whole story.
Right now we are only getting HERS. There is also his aside
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.