Murasaki-absolutely! We had help from our adult daughter and her husband, my mom and stepdad and my sister. The other family is spread far enough they werent readily available.
But- as noted, this wasn't a request to stop a relationship, deter or even set boundaries on frequency of visits/contact.
It was actually a request to not have her in my presence while I was already suffering. Ironically-she wouldnt know, but it wasnt just her. I dont care for any people I am not close to around me during a crisis.
Even in labor and delivery, no nurses, no friends, no extra family. Just my SO and dr (or midwife).
Medical vulnerability for me is significant and I dont want people I dont trust *in that circumstance* around me.
Which-in my opinion is a minor request.
But it erupted into a shitstorm that acquaintances in Washington who were involved in helping start the poly group here witnessed.
I suppose its telling that I exited silently.
The drama ensued.
It took about a year and most of the original people reached out to me with "I just didnt know what to do" explanations.
But for me personally-I see it as a burned bridge.
I don't accept that its ok to stand by and allow someone to be so abusive (details logged in other threads) and a group not step up and say "we dont allow that behavior in our social events". Its not side taking. Its expecting adult behavior. But-that is not the attitude here.
"Love As Thou Wilt"